My super crazy, beautiful life

So I have opinions. Get over it?

AGHH I forgot to post DAY 4 yesterday.

Day 4: During Deployment “Love is Thoughtful”


How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. Psalm 139:17,18

When you were dating, perhaps you said to your sweetheart, “I can’t stop thinking about you!” But maybe things have changed since you got married—and birthdays and important events have slipped by without thinking. Oooops . . . . and that has caused problems. What started with forgetfulness can become an accusation of thoughtlessness, inconsideration, and total frustration between you both. Learning to be intentional about thoughtfulness can prevent such missed opportunities to demonstrate love.

Deployment will complicate this whole matter. Not only is there the separation and distance factor, but the responsibilities of the mission overseas and at home can loom large during this demanding time. This is all the more reason to be intentional in thinking about each other and saying so!

The book that we’re going through, The Love Dare, reminds us of the differences between men and women in this matter of thoughtfulness. Men can focus on one thing seemingly to the neglect of other things, while women characteristically have ever-rotating radars which can pick up on “signals” from (too) many fronts. A couple who knows this difference, and appreciates it, can help each other. It reminds me of a conversation in the movie Rocky where Paulie is quizzing Rocky about what Rocky sees in his sister, Adrian. Rocky’s response goes something like this: “Hey. I’ve got gaps . . . She’s got gaps . . . together we fill gaps.” Rocky was a wise theologian in his understanding of how in marriage a husband and wife “complete” each other.

Another way we can be thoughtful is in conversation. When the movie Fireproof came out we posted an Excellent or Praiseworthy devotional called “Ready! Fire! Aim!” (October 2nd). The purpose was to encourage all of us to think before we speak. So while thoughtfulness means remembering important events, it also means saying the right thing at the right time. As The Love Dare says, “Great marriages come from great thinking.” (p. 18)

Here’s the dare for the day, during deployment: By email or telephone, if possible, ask your spouse the question, “How are you doing? Is there anything I can do for you?” As we think loving thoughts we are spurred on to loving actions.

Here are some Scriptures to encourage you in truth:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. — Ephesians 4:29

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. — Proverbs 16:24

Love Dare- Day 5

Day 5: During Deployment “Love is Not Rude”


He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him. — Proverbs 27:14

Do you know people who are intentionally rude in their behavior? Or perhaps they are rude and just don’t know it. Worse would be if they are rude, know that they are, and just don’t care! Day 5 in The Love Dare addresses this from the perspective of how others view you. This is the day to examine your own actions just to make sure that you are not being rude—that would not be loving.

Last year we were meeting with a group of wives from a large Army installation whose husbands were all deployed. One wife shared that before her husband left for Iraq she read Proverbs 21:19: “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.” The truth in that verse really pricked her heart, she told the group. She thought about how rude she was being to her husband (more and more as he prepared to deploy) and she did not want him to feel like it was better to be downrange than to be with her at home. She gave no specifics, but we could all make a list of ways couples can be rude during that tense period before a deployment.  Corrective action would include making doubly sure that sarcasm or condescension (especially in public) is avoided, being careful not to ignore any requests, catching ourselves before we slam any doors, hang up the phone or pick any arguments, and trying to be gracious in speaking. We were all impressed with this lady’s authenticity and willingness to share—because, truth be known, we all had experienced exactly what she was talking about.

Of course this does not apply just to women. There are plenty of verses which apply to all of us. Proverbs 26:21 is similar in its use of the term “quarrelsome”: “As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.” 1 Corinthians 13, the “love chapter”, specifically says that “love is not rude.” Perhaps rudeness to you means continuing to do things that are annoying—or maybe it means something more than that depending on the individual. But today you have a chance to explore that with the dare. As the chapter in The Love Dare says, “Do you wish your spouse would quit doing the things that bother you? Then it’s time to stop doing the things that bother them.” (p. 23)

Here’s the dare for the day, during deployment: Ask your spouse, by email or phone (or letter) to name three things you do which cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated. Avoid defensiveness—that is a sign of immaturity. This is one of those times that the dare is easier to do while separated than face-to-face, I think. Give no excuses—just ask. Then the next logical question for you to think about is, “What am I going to do with this information to improve in these areas?”

Here are some Scriptures to encourage you in truth:

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. — James 3:13

Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. — Psalm 34:12,13


I haven't posted much lately about my husband and I and how were doing with our LOVE DARE.

He and I have really had a hard few days, not because of the Dare's and what they involve, just because of all the things that have been happening in our daily lives. Tanner is preparing to leave for a month on Monday, so that includes packing, gear inspections, stress for him at work. We've also been going through trying to get our youngest son back in our care. It's been a whirlwind of emotions, and we haven't been handling it well.

The good thing is Tanner and I talk, or Tanner talks and I sulk (I don't talk much when I'm angry) but I really am working on opening up and sharing my feelings more, rather than let them sit heavy on my heart, I wish I could say it's working and I am doing a fantastic job. I'm not, I feel almost like I am pushing him away, not on purpose of course, but so that it hurts less when he leaves on Monday for a month. I am having a hard time with it, gosh imagine me at deployment lol.

We decided to put the last few days behind us and enjoy our last weekend together for awhile. I don't want him to leave mad, and I don't want him to feel my pulling away, I want him to feel loved and feel like there's something worth coming back to. Yesterday was our anniversary (small 3 month one) but we still had a fantastic day, and no arguing, no picking fights, etc. We just enjoyed eachothers company. :)

So I am going to post Love Dares the rest of the weekend, but the hubby and I have pinky promised no computer this weekend, yet he is kind enough to let me do my Dares, he he. He loves me. :) I'll catch up on everyones journals Monday, have a great weekend ya'll. We're headed to the beach!

Love Dare-Day 3

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. —Romans 12:10

I remember that night at church with our HomeBuilders Bible study entitled “Building Your Marriage.”  This was our first of eight sessions with a large group of couples, many of whom we knew. The introductory lesson was on the #1 thing that prevents a couple from oneness and leads to isolation—selfishness. Our HomeBuilder couples seemed to be surprised that we jumped right into the #1 problem that couples face in marriage before starting to build on the seven steps to oneness. The questions we asked that first night included: “What are some ways selfishness is displayed in marriage?” “What relationship do you see between selfishness and isolation?” “What is the effect of isolation on marriage?” It’s a tough way to begin a Bible study on marriage, but absolutely imperative.

By the end of the first session of “Building Your Marriage” couples always realize that we are serious about marriage—what makes it work, and what can hurt it. Selfishness can destroy a relationship. So it shouldn’t surprise any of us that The Love Dare addresses selfishness early on in the book—it’s that important. The writers announce, “If there were ever a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness.” (p. 11) And the grim reality is that we are all selfish. We’re born that way. If you have your book, please read this chapter more than once—it’s that important.

If you are familiar with 1 Corinthians 13 in the New Testament—the “love chapter”—you know that these verses are a beautiful and timeless description of what love does. It is often read at weddings, perhaps even at yours. We would do well to read it from time to time, just as a reminder. You could put your name in the spot where it says, “Love”, and read “John is patient, John is kind. John does not envy . . . . .” and so forth. If those things are true, that’s great. But if they’re not then you have something to work on. Don’t we all!

But keep reading past all of those familiar verses and you’ll come to 1 Corinthians 13:11. It reads, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.” Do you see what the obvious question for today is, “Have you put childish ways behind you?” Do you put others needs ahead of your own? Do you share? Are you treating others the way you would like to be treated?

Have you grown up? Are you treating your spouse as the precious gift from God that they are to you?

Honestly I find most military families to be unselfish. There is a lot of teamwork that comes with being in the military, and loving a military member. So perhaps this day isn’t difficult for you.

Here’s the dare for the day, during deployment: The book says to buy something for your spouse that will show them that you were thinking of them. When you’re deployed, that’s trickier—but an even greater demonstration of love when you accomplish it! If you have the opportunity to buy something to mail that will show your spouse that you were thinking of them—great. But if not, try to find something that you can put in the mail which would show them that your thoughts are of them. If mailing is not an option, try ordering over the internet (if possible) or somehow enlisting a neighbor or friend to make a special delivery.  The object is to go out of your way to demonstrate that you are thinking of your spouse in a generous way.

I know one service member who even put the wooden spoon from his ice cream dessert in an envelope—with a short loving message written on the spoon. Be creative! The whole idea is to do something for them!

Here are some Scriptures to encourage you in truth:

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. — James 3:16

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. — Philippians 2:3,4

My 18th month old is HOME!!

WOW.  WOW. Is all I can say.

Today has been a whirlwind of emotions. :) For those of you who haven't gotten the news my Ethyn is back in my home, under my care, and safe with his momma.

I haven't seen him in almost two months, and lets just say it's a hard thing for a mom. I walked up to him and he jumped in my arms and cradeled my neck and kept saying :Hi momma" over and over again.Then he'd lift his head up and smile at me and wrap his arms tighter around my neck. WHEW. I coldn't take it, tears where just streaming down. To have him in my arms again was like feelng whole. It's amazing how much you feel like a part of you is missing when they are so far away.

So we get my bug home and were playing and I think he's in shock that I'm here, cause he'll walk til he's almost in my lap,bend his head down ,and say "HI momma". :D  AH. It's just so hard to explain the emotions going through me. He doesn't lok any bigger, maybe taller that's it. He's still in the same size diapers, shoes, everything as when we left. However, major change; he goes potty in the Big boy potty! All you say is Ethyn lets go potty and we sit up there and he I say "go potty e" and he looks down and squeezes to make sure he goes; gets down and flushes. Wow was I shocked.

I'll update more later. I'm estatic. I've got things to put away while their napping.

:) My life, my family, my heart is complete.

Love Dare- Day 2

Update on previous day:

Tanner and I had a lot going on yesterday, a girl he has known since child hood is Deployed and he hasn't talked to her in months, she finally callled yesterday and they Skyped. :) We got news that our youngest son would be home Wednesday, we got our new puppy Macie, and all in all it was a good day. Neither one of us said anything negative, and I never had an urge to.

Now for Day 2 you must remember that you not just doing Day 2- your adding to Day 1. So essentially as the days move forward we're continuing to build on the previous day.



Today the dare involves an act of kindness. Here is what the authors have to say during the chapter writing, “Kindness is love in action. If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is how love acts to maximize a positive circumstance. Patience avoids a problem; kindness creates a blessing. One is preventive, the other proactive. These two sides of love are the cornerstones on which many of the other attributes we will discuss are built.” (p.6)

This second chapter in The Love Dare  goes on to say that kindness is gentle, helpful, willing to work on challenges together, and takes initiative. Think back—was kindness one of the qualities that attracted you to your spouse in the first place? The book reminds us, “It is difficult to demonstrate love when you feel little to no motivation. But love in its truest sense is not based on feelings. Rather, love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward. You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness.” (p.8)

**Here’s the dare for the day, during deployment:  In addition to making sure that you communicate nothing negative or hurtful to your spouse today, add at least one unexpected demonstration of  kindness.  Because you are separated by distance, something as simple as a kind word can be an act of kindness. Can you think of one thing for which to compliment your spouse? For example: “Thank you for taking care of things at home. You do a great job,” or “Thank you for defending our country. You’re doing a great job.”  Even if you think your act of kindness might be met with suspicion, do it anyway.**

Here are some Scriptures to encourage you in truth:

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. — Proverbs 3:3,4

An anxious heart weighs a man down but a kind word cheers him up. Proverbs 12:25

A kindhearted woman gains respect . . — Proverbs 11:16

Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. — 1 Thessalonians 5:15

Macie && Ethyn
I am no longer in need of a puppy. :) We found a 5 week old Jack Russell Terrier some one was just giving away! We've named her Macie, now she doesn't have any of her shots and I don't know the first thing about caring for a puppy, so I am doing a lot of research. ( I feel like a expecting mom reading all this) So if any one knows anything about pups, or even this breed feel free to message me with hints, tips, advice, etc.

Last night was her first night away from her mom, MAN OH MAN did she cry. She goes potty outside or on a puppy pad, I am trying to keep it on the pad until after her first round of shots, but she seems to only want to potty OUTSIDE. Brilliant dog, but no shots and I don't wanna risk parvo till we can see the Vet.

Mini update on our youngest Ethyn. We finally got a phone call from his dad yesterday, and I will have him in my arms at 10:16 a.m. tomorrow morning. As soon as he's in my arms, Cody ( his dad ) can kiss my toush. I hooe he disappears. But God is helping me cope with this, and I no longer feel resentment to him for any of the things he's done to me in the last three years or even the last month. I have forgiven him and I am trying my hardest to move past my anger. It's hard not to have a kiss my *toush* attitude after everything I have endured from him.
Baby MacieCollapse )

Love Dare -Day 1

My husband and I have a friend who is struggling with her marriage. Horribly, he passed out drunk last night on the air mattress after antogonizing her for hours. He is emotionally abusive, and I have been in this position before. She is at the stage where she still is holding onto the good parts of their marriage and I want to help them the best I can. So I came up with the idea of us doing the Love Dare (Military Style) as seen on Fireproof.

Here's Day 1:

So here’s the dare as quoted from the book: The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret.” (p. 4)

Here’s how you can accomplish this dare during deployment: In email, phone, or letter—do not say or write anything critical or negative. Even if you are on the receiving end of a verbal attack, choose to be positive or quiet. Easier said than done? You bet—and that’s the challenge of it. But if for one day you can choose to demonstrate patience in your communications I believe that God will reward that act of obedience.

That’s it—that’s Day 1. Here are some Scriptures to encourage you in truth:

A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly. Proverbs 14:29

A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel. Proverbs 15:18

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2


Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14

Good luck anyone who wants to try. :) I will be posting a new dare daily. It'll help if you get your spouse involved and/ or get a journal of your thoughts on how the day went.

My prayers for all of you.


My husband and I are looking for a puppy. If anyone knows someone who is selling and/or giving away message me with details! He leaves in a week for training for a month!!! I need a mini Tanner. :) lol.

A new adventure
So yesterday we decided to take a trip with Aizik and the little girl we babysit, Renee. Tanner's buddy Josh had his  little girl with him for the iweekend, and we all thought it'd be fun to go to the Aquarium we've been told a lot about. Now Tanner and Josh are both Marines, and their fellow "buddies" are navigating for us during the trip. We get into Wilmington, following our GPS to the address Blissett told us to type in. Of course we aren't finding the aquarium, but Josh and Tanner decide the the Serpentarium looks awesome, and when we're done well just ask the person at the desk to help us find the Aquarium.

The serpentarium was actually REALLY neat, we had a great time there. Though I'm not sure something that take maybe thirty mintues to walk through should cost 8 dollars a person. BLAH. We watched them feed the snakes, etc. There were alligators, and the kids loved it. We all finally get done and we go up to the counter to get quick walking directions to the Aquarium. She informs us the Aquarium is actually anoher 30 mintues away in KURE beach. Tanner and Josh's buddies had sent us to the Serpentarium on purpose. Ugh. So Aizik's wondering why were getting back in the car and we inform in that this was infact just a pit stop on our way to the beach.

30 mintues later we arrive at our destination, with 35 minutes to walk through cause they'll be closing. FML. The Aquarium was really big, and there was so much to look at. Once again another 25 dollars to walk through, which I wouldn't of minded cause it was so big. Unfortuanately, listening to a bunch of Marines back at the barracks, bad idea. Not something I would suggest. We really sat in the car in the BK parking lot for 40 minutes trying to figure out where we were going. lol.

All in all it was a FUN day, maybe today we can head to the beach... without any pitstops.


Log in

No account? Create an account